Learning how to split expenses with your partner is a big deal and is one of the most important tasks in a relationship.
You probably won’t have to worry about budgeting and setting goals until you get serious and move in together, but knowing how to handle shared finances is important.
Why Should You Share Expenses?
Committing to a relationship means sharing more than good times.
You'll share responsibilities, too.
When both partners contribute to the expenses, it creates a more equal relationship where both partners feel like they give and receive.
If both partners earn an income (inside or outside the home), you can share the expenses and avoid putting the burden on a single person.
When Should You Start Sharing Expenses?
The big question is, when should you start sharing expenses? Should you bother while you're dating or wait until things are more serious?
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Dating
When dating, you can share expenses, but it won't be expenses like the rent or utilities. Instead, you can share the cost of dating, whether eating out, entertainment, or taking trips.
One partner shouldn't feel responsible for footing the bill for everything.
Whether you split them equally on each date or take turns covering the costs.
Find a way you both agree on to share the costs.
Engaged/Living Together
When you take the relationship a step further, it’s time to get more serious about couples' finances and bills.
When you live together, you’ll have shared expenses.
For example, you both live in the house or apartment, so the housing cost should be shared, as should any costs you incur to live there, such as utilities, internet, and groceries.
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Sharing the burden makes it more affordable for both parties and doesn’t make it seem like one partner is taking advantage of the other.
Married
When you tie the knot, nothing changes financially except for your tax liabilities.
You'll likely file taxes married filing jointly, so both partners should be aware of their tax contribution requirements and stay on top of them.
If one partner decides to stay home when you have kids, the roles may change slightly, but preparing for this stage together is the key to making it work.
Expert Strategies to Share Expenses
Learning to share expenses is a skill. It won’t come naturally, and you may have different ideas than your partner.
Here are some expert strategies to share your expenses.
Choose a Method
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First, choose a method to share expenses. Here are two common ways:
- 50/50:
Splitting expenses down the middle
Is the most common and easiest way to share expenses. You don't have to calculate who will contribute to what; you split the costs down the middle, and each contributes the specified amount to a joint checking account and pay for the bills.
- Income-based:
If one partner makes much more than the other.
You can split expenses based on income percentages.
To do this
- Take the total household income
- Calculate the percentage each partner makes.
- For example, if one partner makes 60% of the income and the other 40%, the 60% earning partner pays 60% of the expenses and the 40% partner pays 40%.
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Communicate
Transparent financial communication is the key to making a joint budget work. Keeping both partners on the same page ensures you have a budget that works for both partners and reduces the risk of arguments.
Set up regular money dates to discuss the budget, savings, and contributions to ensure you're both on the same page.
This gives you time to talk about any issues that occurred, make changes, and suggest different goals.
Focus on Mutual Financial Independence
You should focus on mutual financial independence while setting up a budget for your marriage.
While the hope is that you’ll stay married for the long term and both partners live until 100, it’s not always the case.
Ensuring you have money to pay the bills and reach mutual goals while ensuring each partner is financially independent ensures both partners can function separately should the need arise.
How to Set Individual and Shared Goals
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You might wonder how you can set individual goals if you're married and sharing expenses.
But it's just as important to have shared and individual goals.
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List Individual Goals |
List Combined Goals Together |
Compare Lists and Create Your Budget |
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Both partners should create a list of individual goals. This allows you to say what you want to achieve in life. Think of goals that affect you individually and not in your marriage.
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Create a list of goals you want to achieve together, such as buying a house, saving for a vacation home, or paying for your child’s college education.
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Bring the lists together, and see how you can meet both your partner's individual goals and your shared goals. Some give and take will be required, especially if both partners have large individual goals, but see what works with your budget to make it happen. |
Don’t eliminate the goals you had to set aside for the time being. Instead, add them back into the budget after reaching other more pressing goals.
How to Stick to your Budget
So, how do you stick to your budget and reach all your financial goals? Here are some quick tips:
- Communication is key
- Be fully transparent with each other
- Make savings goals a line item on your budget and ‘pay’ them monthly
- Talk about mistakes and how to overcome them
- Be willing to adjust your budget if necessary
- Both partners should oversee the bill payment and money management
Final Thoughts
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Sharing expenses is a big decision.
The key is trusting your partner to contribute to the expenses and having an open and honest communication with one another about money management.
It won't be easy at first, and mistakes will happen, but when you have shared goals and work together, you can make it work!
