Ahhh love! There's nothing more beautiful than love, right? Well... as you probably already know, love kind of comes together hand in hand with money, don't believe me? In fact, according to WalletHub's Valentine’s Day Spending Survey, reckless spending leads to breakups since half of Americans would break up with their partner if they spent money irresponsibly.
Even as the relationship gets a little more serious, more than 50% believe that a bad credit history could be a potential issue in the relationship failing.
We know it's good to talk about money with your partner to avoid relationship problems, we know... but in reality, it’s not an easy topic to discuss.
However, we cannot ignore the fact that money is one of the main reasons for fights in a relationship, and we believe that it is essential to constantly address the subject. Fortunately, we will tell you how.
The first thing is to understand each other’s perspective
You and your partner don't need to think alike about money, since each of you learned about it differently, and it’s okay to have personal views.
For this concept we rely on Freud's teachings, because our relationship with money begins in our childhood and inside our core family. According to Suze Orman, financial expert and author of the book “The Money Class”:
Your earliest memories of money are from when you learned that it was more than just a toy and had to do with the way your parents spent and saved money.
Before getting into more serious topics, do a self analysis to find out how you feel about money more recently (the past few weeks) and also how you felt about it in your childhood. Just like you got to know each other when you were dating, you must learn each other's feelings about financial matters.
It’s very important to dream together
The good thing about financial dates is that it’s not only about looking at bills and financial statements, but talking about what you want in life, it's about having goals together.
Now is the time to speak openly about what we want, from going on a trip, owning a house, a dog, three children, a business or whatever it is that you want to fulfill.
Ideally, when you reach a common ground in your dreams, you can define:
- What it is that you want.
- Why you want it.
- How you are going to achieve it.
We suggest taking an approach to encourage you both to share your dreams with each other, like making a Pinterest board or using any form of reminder that both can look at regularly.
It’s time to tell our secrets
For the financial date to be real, we have to reveal ourselves without any masks. This means that we must tell our truths from the beginning, without fear.
How much do you spend on coffee?! Is that what the football tickets cost?! Maybe you’ll run into these kinds of situations, learn to deal with them early on.
Learn to scheme a strategy together
Now that you have an idea of your current situation and know both your past and your dreams, it’s time to get a bit more technical and go through the work of making a plan.
This is when you begin to recount your expenses, gather receipts, bills, account statements and other paperwork.
The idea is to have some clarity about your expenses and your income, make a budget, review your distribution according to the 50-30-20 rule, make plans and so forth.
Of course, it’s no use making plans, if you don’t carry them out… on your next financial date review how the plan went. Remember that what works for one of you does not necessarily work for the other, since just as in life, opposites attract in finances.
Financial dates should be frequent and attractive
We recommend having a monthly date where you can see how the plan is going and that every 4 or 6 months, the date should be even more special so you can plan for the medium and long term.
Additionally, it’s necessary that the date is attractive. Whether it’s with candles, music, chocolates, beer, wine or whatever it is that puts you in a good mood to talk about serious and very personal topics.
