We've grown up with the notion that our soulmate should be so compatible with us, it's as if they come equipped with a sensor to read our minds.
We believe we don't have to communicate with our partner because they already know what we want. Think again!
Where NOT to start?
If you believe that simply saying, "We need to talk," it will immediately make your partner willing to talk and clear things up, let me tell you, it's quite the opposite.
This phrase has frightened thousands of people around the world in a relationship. Instantly, our bodies go into alert mode, and we start getting defensive because we feel endangered and attacked.
So, if you're about to discuss something with your BAE, especially if it's about money, believe me, they will run if you start with that phrase.
Not talking about it
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So...Should I just not talk? It's not about that. Communication in a relationship is a fundamental pillar and goes beyond whether or not we talk.
It has a lot to do with what is said and how it's said. In other words, the way it's conveyed and the context in which it's conveyed.
For example: Saying " You're a fool " with an angry face and yelling is not the same as saying it with a seductive and mischievous look.
On the other hand, saying, " You're a mess, always overspending, don't you see we don't have the money! " is different from saying, " Honey, again? Be more careful with your purchases, you' "ve repeated the same things twice, and we can't afford to overspend, that's why we need a list ."
See the difference? That's why it's important to pay attention to the way we communicate with our partner.
Reflecting on what happened can change with empathy, from feeling attacked, to understanding what could be improved.
Where to start?
So, how do I start working on having better communication with my partner?
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That's where assertive communication can help you and your partner have a better understanding of each other… Mmmh… ASSERTIVE?
What is assertive communication?
When we talk about assertiveness, it's a way of standing up for yourself in a calm and positive way without being aggressive or accepting wrong in a passive manner.
In this case, how you express yourself to your partner so that they correctly understand what you want to say.
Practicing assertiveness will help us express our needs in the relationship, as well as understand our partner's.
Being assertive will nourish the relationship, allowing us to express our point of view and improving our communication as a couple.
How to talk about money with your partner?
Here are 4 keys to apply assertive communication with your "better half" when you talk about money.
1. Express your appreciation for their qualities
You likely appreciate certain qualities or actions of your partner (something about their appearance, character, personality, something they say or do, etc.).
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