Money management for couples: A guide to a happy relationship

Starting a relationship means beginning to "play as a team." 

Since you’ve become a couple, you both support each other to achieve your goals while striving to get the best results as a unit. 

This teamwork approach should also apply to your finances. Regardless of whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, having transparent finances will be an essential pillar in building a strong relationship.

Money management or financial problems are some of the most common reasons couples argue. There's a saying that goes:

"When money walks out the door, love flies out the window."

Envato/LightFieldStudios

While we can’t be sure of how true this is, we do know that you can make significant progress as a team if you both commit to maintaining healthy finances together.

In many Latin American cultures, financial education isn’t typically part of the traditional curriculum. We also tend not to feel comfortable discussing money. You might not have known how much your parents or siblings earned when you were younger, and even as an independent adult, you may have little idea about your friends’ financial situations.

We belong to a culture that doesn’t talk about money…

yet we expect that when we get married or live together, everything will magically fall into place with just a day or a workshop. I’m sharing this because managing finances as a couple is a marathon, not a sprint. 

I strongly recommend getting support and, most importantly, being patient with the process. If you’d like me to accompany you on this journey, it’s my specialty.

A change for the better

In many American households, financial education often isn’t a focal point in traditional schooling. 

Additionally, talking about money can be a sensitive topic. You might not have known how much your parents or siblings earned when you were growing up, and even as an independent adult, you may have little idea about your friends' financial situations.

We’re part of a culture that tends to avoid money conversations…

Envato/jm_video

Yet, we expect that when we get married or move in together, everything will magically fall into place after a single conversation or a workshop. I’m sharing this because managing finances as a couple is more of a marathon than a sprint.

Be brutally transparent

Imagine if, when Tom Brady joined the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, no one bothered to fill him in on the team’s plays. It would have been challenging for him to lead the team to the Super Bowl.

Before discussing expense tracking, budgeting, and setting goals, it’s crucial to have an open conversation about each person’s current financial situation.

Remember, this isn’t the time for judgment or dishonesty. The goal is to have a complete picture to make decisions that benefit both of you. 

Whether you have debt, financial obligations to extended family, or zero savings, be brutally transparent with your partner to avoid any surprises down the road.

Making the A-Team

It’s also essential to talk about your financial habits, from the small things like how often you order food delivery to more significant habits that might impact your health, like smoking. 

These habits represent opportunity costs for the couple, meaning the cost of what you miss out on by making one decision over another. 

For example, if one of you spends 50% of your income on “guilty pleasures,” that might cost you the chance to take a trip, secure your health, or start a business together.

Envato/Haveseen

Like any successful team, you need to identify your strengths and weaknesses before making any moves.

Some examples

• If one of you is great at saving, that person should be in charge of “protecting” the couple’s savings. 
• If one of you is more comfortable negotiating and dealing with people, that person could handle payments to vendors. 
• If one of you is more tech-savvy, they could manage the online payments. 

The idea is to leverage each other’s skills to achieve the best results as a team.

The shared expenses

When it comes to figuring out numbers for your finances, it’s worth having an honest conversation about each person’s income sources and, of course, their net income. 

Remember, net income is what remains after taxes, so it’s the exact amount of money each of you receives and when you receive it.

Before you start tracking your expenses and creating a budget, you need to agree on how you’ll cover shared expenses. 

Envato/LightFieldStudios

This discussion typically happens once you’re living together, but it can also work in the dating phase as a “couples’ entertainment fund. 

The key question is, how much can each of you contribute to covering your mutual expenses?

If one partner isn’t contributing financially to the household, their contribution might come in the form of unpaid work at home.

This could include cooking, washing dishes, ironing, cleaning, organizing, child care, and other tasks. While these activities don’t generate direct income, they represent an opportunity cost by participating in economically valuable activities. 

Agree on a value for these hours or tasks of unpaid work to balance responsibilities or consider compensating for these activities.

Organize your game

If both partners can contribute income to the household, you need to decide how you’ll share the responsibilities:

50 – 50: In this model, you’ll list all shared expenses, with each of you committing to cover exactly 50% of the total amount. If you choose this strategy, don’t forget to include a mutual savings category where each of you also contributes 50%.

Envato/wutzkoh