“Let's talk about money,” said no one ever. At least not in most families or relationships I know. Unless it is a job interview, we tend to keep money issues private or sweep them aside until we need to address them when something serious happens. We rely on money every day, and we are constantly obsessing about it (at least most of us do), but it’s just not a topic we discuss.
I've always been one of those people who do not speak about money or finances, which is why, after attending a blogging event in Houston, and meeting with fellow digital entrepreneurs and podcasters, I realized I needed to start getting real about finances, things like income taxes, savings, IRAs, college plans for our boys, credit card debt, and many others. I realized I am not alone, and many others like me often consider themselves stuck or confused when dealing with personal wealth and financial planning. Here are 4 reasons we shut down when thinking about or discussing money and which may be preventing us from actually accumulating some.
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1. We were not raised to talk about money
If our parents did not share their finances with us or talked openly about their economic struggles, investments, retirement plans, etc. chances are we grew up believing money was a taboo topic. As kids, we learn through observation and role models and if this transfer of knowledge was not obtained, we might struggle with money management today.
Many of our parents lived paycheck to paycheck, so there was little or no education in how to take care of our money and be fiscally responsible, the good news is that there are resources out there, and most of them are freely available. We can learn from mentors or financial experts online and consume a ton of information on how to be responsible and take charge of our relationship with money.
2. We are ashamed to admit we don't know much about it
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Crypto what? I asked a friend some time ago. Just know you aren’t the only one who doesn’t get cloud money. If you open up and trust the people who are close to us, show some vulnerability, you will be surprised at how much they know and their willingness to share with you. When we have an open dialogue about our uncertainties, we will realize many others also have these concerns about adulting and needing a 401k, insurance, and financial planning. Turns out we are all in the same boat. By acknowledging our weaknesses, we allow others to do it too, and together we can discuss and share great opportunities for investments and expertise that are out there within our reach.
3. We feel insecure sharing our finances with others
The fear of being judged on our poor decisions or previous mistakes appears to always be present when discussing personal finances. We think that if we share what we are doing financially, people are going to think we have too little or that we have too much. The goal is to have financial wellness, so no matter what we have today, let's shake off that anxiety and start sharing because sharing is caring and learning better practices with our money is nothing to feel insecure about, on the contrary, it’s something to be proud of.
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4. We think it’s too soon to consider planning
“My studies are only beginning”, “But we are not thinking about starting a family yet”,” I will consider investing later” are just some of the phrases I have heard and said myself. Sometimes we believe the timing is not perfect for us to go full-on business mode, so we leave the money talk for later. Latin Americans like to say: “Al mal paso darle prisa” which translates to: Let's get it over with. It is never too soon to get our act together, create a budget and feel comfortable talking about handling money.
Having chats about money can improve our present and create the future we hope for. They can lead to a path of financial independence, self-discovery, and peace of mind. Many experts in habit building mention that whenever we want to create a good habit, we have to understand what causes the bad habit and where is it coming from. It also helps to learn what underlying beliefs led to our past behaviors. Whatever the reason is that stops us from dealing with our financial reality we can all take one easy step toward taking charge of it, we can begin with a simple and direct conversation opener next time: Let's talk about money.
